Pumping

With Richie being a preemie, it's especially important that he gets breast milk, if possible, to help him get immunities that he didn't get a chance to get in utero. So I've been giving him as much breast milk as I can make. But here's the thing: I HATE pumping. HATE.IT. And nope, I don't like breastfeeding much, either. I know, I know - it's a natural thing and I should feel like a mother when I do it, right? Nope. I just don't enjoy it at all - and it doesn't make me a bad mom.

It's funny though - people seem to look down on me for not breastfeeding. He's still getting my milk, people! And I do nurse him sometimes - usually when I sleep through a pumping session and he wakes up hungry. But the problem with that is that he just is a slow eater when breastfeeding and I worry that he doesn't get enough. Since he was premature, I wanted to make sure that he was getting enough to eat so that he could gain weight. Pumping made measuring that easy. AND, since we wanted to take him home, introducing a bottle was the way to make that happen fastest. And if I had to do it over again, I would do it exactly the same. Getting to spend a week or who knows how much longer at home over being in the hospital is worth not mastering breastfeeding. So worth it.

I'm looking into meeting with a lactation consultant to see if I can make breastfeeding more comfortable for me, but I also don't think that breastfeeding will be realistic long-term because I'm going back to work. I will continue to pump for as long as humanly possible (up until he's one), since I know it's best for him. But I still look at every week as one more week down. Right now we only have 44 weeks left.

But this is why I do it:
And it's all worth it. :)