It goes soooooo slow, yet so fast. I know that's a contradiction, but it's really how my life is. The trying to conceive (TTC) part of my life is in slow motion, while the rest of the world speed-demons ahead. It's crazy, and I'm just ready for the slow part to catch up to the fast part, or that they could meet in the middle.
I have to keep telling myself over and over again: "I will not be bitter, I will not be bitter, I will not be bitter..."
Richie-Roo!
Baby Sylvia :)
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Layoffs
Scary topic, for sure. But for now, I'm safe. I am trying not to worry that it will happen to me, but it's not realistic to think that it couldn't. I'm hopeful, though.
My heart goes out to everyone at my company that was laid off today. It just sucks.
My heart goes out to everyone at my company that was laid off today. It just sucks.
Monday, January 26, 2009
I'm so over January.
For so many reasons. First, I'm done with the cold. Do you hear me Minnesota? D-O-N-E. My plan to win the lottery better come through so I can buy that vacation home in Costa Rica and live there for 6 months of the year.
Second, I'm done with my body and all it's effed-uppedness. Do you hear me, body? D-O-N-E. It has caused me an emotional tsunami.
Did I ever tell the story of November, December, and most of January? I'm thinking not. Well, it all started with the cytotec I took to induce the miscarriage at the beginning of November. Remember that fun time? Anyway, that happened and I spotted for over FORTY days. Yes, that may be TMI, but it's the evil truth. I wasn't concerned, though, so I didn't go to the Dr, but I was beyond ANNOYED. So, that took up the rest of November and most of December. And then I waited, and waited, and waited, and waited. I did ovulate, so that's good, but that little eggy took it's dear sweet time. And then I waited some more. When all was said and done and I could go on to the next cycle, it was over SEVENTY days, or TEN WEEKS. Yeah, great, right? Not.
So, I finally went on to a new cycle (a *hopefully* normal cycle), but not without an added bonus right before - a chemical pregnancy. Because the fun never stops. A chemical pregnancy is essentially a super-early miscarriage. As in, you get a positive pregnancy test and then miscarry a few days later. In my case, I got a very faint line on a HPT on Friday, then again on Saturday. I was suspicious from the start, because the lines never got darker and the one I took on Sunday was almost invisible, unless you have a super-trained eye like I do. Then by Monday it was all over. Sucks. I guess the one positive is that my body is now recognizing when a pregnancy is not viable. So that's good, at least.
So, I called my Dr.'s office to let them know that I suspected I had a chemical pregnancy and wasn't sure what the next steps were. They let me know that I needed yet another Rhogam shot, since it was a new pregnancy and the shots are only good for 12 weeks. Since it had been about 10 weeks since my last one, that meant a new shot for me. Enter: DOUCHY OLD LADY. (Seriously? Is she the only one who works there now?) I had to get my blood drawn again, during which the DOL (douchy old lady) proceeded with the inappropriate small talk ("how many weeks were you?" "how do you know that you're Rh negative?") She then had to give me the Rhogam shot and let me tell you, this time it HURT so bad, more than the other two times I've gotten it. At least the DOL was being nicer during that. Her small talk involved being positive that my last blood work came back negative for clotting disorders, so at least she's actually reading my chart now.
So, onward we go into 2009. So far, not good. I'm trying not to focus on it, since I'm not feeling very hopeful these days, but please pray for us and for a more positive outcome in the upcoming months.
Second, I'm done with my body and all it's effed-uppedness. Do you hear me, body? D-O-N-E. It has caused me an emotional tsunami.
Did I ever tell the story of November, December, and most of January? I'm thinking not. Well, it all started with the cytotec I took to induce the miscarriage at the beginning of November. Remember that fun time? Anyway, that happened and I spotted for over FORTY days. Yes, that may be TMI, but it's the evil truth. I wasn't concerned, though, so I didn't go to the Dr, but I was beyond ANNOYED. So, that took up the rest of November and most of December. And then I waited, and waited, and waited, and waited. I did ovulate, so that's good, but that little eggy took it's dear sweet time. And then I waited some more. When all was said and done and I could go on to the next cycle, it was over SEVENTY days, or TEN WEEKS. Yeah, great, right? Not.
So, I finally went on to a new cycle (a *hopefully* normal cycle), but not without an added bonus right before - a chemical pregnancy. Because the fun never stops. A chemical pregnancy is essentially a super-early miscarriage. As in, you get a positive pregnancy test and then miscarry a few days later. In my case, I got a very faint line on a HPT on Friday, then again on Saturday. I was suspicious from the start, because the lines never got darker and the one I took on Sunday was almost invisible, unless you have a super-trained eye like I do. Then by Monday it was all over. Sucks. I guess the one positive is that my body is now recognizing when a pregnancy is not viable. So that's good, at least.
So, I called my Dr.'s office to let them know that I suspected I had a chemical pregnancy and wasn't sure what the next steps were. They let me know that I needed yet another Rhogam shot, since it was a new pregnancy and the shots are only good for 12 weeks. Since it had been about 10 weeks since my last one, that meant a new shot for me. Enter: DOUCHY OLD LADY. (Seriously? Is she the only one who works there now?) I had to get my blood drawn again, during which the DOL (douchy old lady) proceeded with the inappropriate small talk ("how many weeks were you?" "how do you know that you're Rh negative?") She then had to give me the Rhogam shot and let me tell you, this time it HURT so bad, more than the other two times I've gotten it. At least the DOL was being nicer during that. Her small talk involved being positive that my last blood work came back negative for clotting disorders, so at least she's actually reading my chart now.
So, onward we go into 2009. So far, not good. I'm trying not to focus on it, since I'm not feeling very hopeful these days, but please pray for us and for a more positive outcome in the upcoming months.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Why Minnesota?
I'm not really sure today. I think every single Minnesotan (except the crazy ones) are asking themselves the exact same question. And that is because it is NEGATIVE SIXTEEN DEGREES OUTSIDE. It's is soooooooo coooooooold.
I am thinking that I just want to go to somewhere warm and sunny to recharge. I'm also thinking about August and our 3rd anniversary - any suggestions?
I am thinking that I just want to go to somewhere warm and sunny to recharge. I'm also thinking about August and our 3rd anniversary - any suggestions?
Thursday, January 8, 2009
No Diet Coke!
I'm still doing great with my No Diet Coke resolution! I always have to go cold turkey when I give up Diet Coke, since it is my drug of choice. I don't really drink, I don't do drugs, but I love Diet Coke. I can't even have a little bit, because that opens the door to having more of the goodness. But I've been good for 8 days!
As for the others, they've been going ok. I would say the "stop being negative" one has not gone as well as my "no diet coke" resolution. I have gone to the gym once so far (but worked out more than that), so as long as I go at least twice a week, I'll get my eight times.
I haven't gone to yoga yet, but at least I only said I had to go once/month. That makes it easier to keep that goal. That only equals going to yoga 12 times per year. That's totally managable! As for the debt diet, I *think* I'm doing better, but Fred would probably beg to differ.
Keeping the house clean...hmmm. Not so much. BUT, I did pick some things up, so at least it's better! I missed my Wendesday pick-up date, as well as last Sunday, but I think we're having Fred's brother over on Friday, which will motivate us both to clean up. Nothing like doing it at the last minute!
Maybe next year my resolution should be about not procrastinating...
As for the others, they've been going ok. I would say the "stop being negative" one has not gone as well as my "no diet coke" resolution. I have gone to the gym once so far (but worked out more than that), so as long as I go at least twice a week, I'll get my eight times.
I haven't gone to yoga yet, but at least I only said I had to go once/month. That makes it easier to keep that goal. That only equals going to yoga 12 times per year. That's totally managable! As for the debt diet, I *think* I'm doing better, but Fred would probably beg to differ.
Keeping the house clean...hmmm. Not so much. BUT, I did pick some things up, so at least it's better! I missed my Wendesday pick-up date, as well as last Sunday, but I think we're having Fred's brother over on Friday, which will motivate us both to clean up. Nothing like doing it at the last minute!
Maybe next year my resolution should be about not procrastinating...
Monday, January 5, 2009
2009 Resolutions
In the past few years, I haven't made resolutions. I think it's because I knew that it was highly unlikely that they would be kept. But this year I've decided to give it a whirl! I have six, which I know is ambitious, but I'm posting them here for the world to see in hopes that they will be kept!
They are in no particular order and I've also included a short explanation for myself :P
1. Go to the gym 8 times per month. – Get that $20 back into bank account! Earn it!
2. Stop the negativity. – This just takes so much energy and time. There is no reason to dwell on other people. Focus on your own successes and your own wins.
3. Go to yoga at least once per month, and once per week if possible. – This is to help with stress levels.
4. Keep the house clean. – Devote two days a week to picking up house and wiping down surfaces (Sunday and Wednesday)
5. NO Diet Coke. – Try to cut out caffeine all together.
6. Debt Diet – No spending money unnecessarily. Use resolutions and how they’re followed as a guide for rewards.
Wish me luck! :)
They are in no particular order and I've also included a short explanation for myself :P
1. Go to the gym 8 times per month. – Get that $20 back into bank account! Earn it!
2. Stop the negativity. – This just takes so much energy and time. There is no reason to dwell on other people. Focus on your own successes and your own wins.
3. Go to yoga at least once per month, and once per week if possible. – This is to help with stress levels.
4. Keep the house clean. – Devote two days a week to picking up house and wiping down surfaces (Sunday and Wednesday)
5. NO Diet Coke. – Try to cut out caffeine all together.
6. Debt Diet – No spending money unnecessarily. Use resolutions and how they’re followed as a guide for rewards.
Wish me luck! :)
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year, everyone! I am leaving behind a craptastic 2008 and I'm looking forward to much, much better things in 2009!
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